Are You Deceived in a Relationship? 6 Crucial Check Points

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Often people write to us about relationships that they are struggling with whether it is via verbal or physical abuse. Some are cheated of thousands of dollars and others just bound and being manipulated and hence unable to reach their God given destiny.

deceived-relationship

Most of these relationships (this could also be business relationships) began on a positive note. Some even claim that God led them to those relationships. Others have received confirmation through Bible verses too.

Could that be possible? How do we know if we are in a relationship that is ordained by God and not something that will end up in deception?

Here is a checklist to find out whether you are deceived in a relationship.

1. Loss of Interest in Things of God

After you entered into that relationship, you are no more passionate about studying God’s Word and praying. In fact your passion for the things of world has significantly increased.

2. High Interest in Prayer But…

It seems like your interest in “spiritual activities” has gone up. You are more than ever excited and involved in various programs at church, but it all seems revolve around pleasing those people. Please note that it does necessarily mean you are in a relationship with that person, but may be your motive is distorted and it’s only a matter of time before it falls.

3. High Interest in God’s Word But…

There seems to be a great spiritual growth in you because you are reading the Bible more after meeting this person. However you only believe parts of it and avoid the parts that convict you. Oh and you have many powerful verses that support the relationship and justify your sin. You even get a lot of verses pop out of the Bible that seems to encourage your relationship, however this does not include verses about self control, abstinence, and waiting for God’s will and time. Watch out! Chances are that you are highly deceived.

4. Isolation From Fellowship

Sudden withdrawal from people you know for long without any particular reason. Now everything revolves around that person of interest and whatever he/she says is right for you. You are banned from any other relationship that is not approved by this person.

5. Highly Irritable and Impatient

You are losing it faster than before. Anything and everything gets on your nerve. You are more angry with your other friends and family. But come this person around, you seem to be the happiest and the calmest person on the planet. However you spend a lot of time together gossiping and discussing how bad, wicked and weak everyone else is.

6. Over Emotional and Dramatic

You cry a lot. You have been complaining a lot and drowning in self pity. Now this is a level where things may be a little out of hand and its affecting you on a deeper level and you need strong help. Most importantly acknowledge that you have become overtly dependent on this relationship. And the situation can usually become more serious if the other person begins to exploit this emotional wreck that you have become. Most of them end up with physical abuse and painful break ups. (Read more about this here – soul ties.)

Now if you have any of these symptoms, you know that you may be deceived. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom to let go of this relationship. Do it gently and in love. And start today.

Here’s in conclusion, please remember the following even if you don’t remember anything else from above. “Accept that not all people are supposed to draw you to God. But disconnect from any person that pulls you away from God.” [ClickToTweet]

I’d like to know your thoughts, experience, and lessons you’ve learnt. Leave them below in the comments section.

 

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  • Francis Fernandes

    Hi Shyju…. I have recently been through a similar experience where i was totally dependent on one person. I refused to understand anything else and after the person left, i became miserable. This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through you to me… I am praying everyday and reading the Holy scriptures… Jesus is my greatest healer… Thanks for this awesome article… God bless you and your family…

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Happy to know that this article helped. Hold to your confessions of faith. God bless u.

  • Francis Fernandes

    Hi Shyju…. I have recently been through a similar experience where i was totally dependent on one person. I refused to understand anything else and after the person left, i became miserable. This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through you to me… I am praying everyday and reading the Holy scriptures… Jesus is my greatest healer… Thanks for this awesome article… God bless you and your family…

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Happy to know that this article helped. Hold to your confessions of faith. God bless u.

  • Anna

    This is a very important post for the Body of CHRIST.Thank you very much Shyju.GOD Bless

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Awesome. God bless.

  • Anna

    This is a very important post for the Body of CHRIST.Thank you very much Shyju.GOD Bless

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Awesome. God bless.

  • dona

    I don’t know about the deception part but these symptoms also look like a relationship that has turned an idol for us. it just answers every question I’ve been asking myself since last night.

    we must also guard against our spouse becoming our idol… only a person who has these symptoms will know that how their marriage had turned an idol.

    Returning to your regular worship n prayer time n askingGod to give us a desire for Him again is the only way out .. He alone can deliver us out of our messes. we like little children get entangled on dangerous life styles, Jesus is that gracious Daddy who is just arms open wide waiting for us to realise our mistakes n turn to Him for us to only find Him ready to embrace us. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

  • dona

    I don’t know about the deception part but these symptoms also look like a relationship that has turned an idol for us. it just answers every question I’ve been asking myself since last night.

    we must also guard against our spouse becoming our idol… only a person who has these symptoms will know that how their marriage had turned an idol.

    Returning to your regular worship n prayer time n askingGod to give us a desire for Him again is the only way out .. He alone can deliver us out of our messes. we like little children get entangled on dangerous life styles, Jesus is that gracious Daddy who is just arms open wide waiting for us to realise our mistakes n turn to Him for us to only find Him ready to embrace us. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

  • noname

    your article has confused me. i feel i do have some of these symptoms mentioned here but not exactly the way you have described it. I always thought the relationship i am in was one God led me into. and now i am confused.

    • KennethmyJesus

      Hello there,Your mind will try to justify what you do..Confusion subsides when you get into God’s presence.Spend a lot of time with God and be open for His will!!!

  • noname

    your article has confused me. i feel i do have some of these symptoms mentioned here but not exactly the way you have described it. I always thought the relationship i am in was one God led me into. and now i am confused.

    • KennethmyJesus

      Hello there,Your mind will try to justify what you do..Confusion subsides when you get into God’s presence.Spend a lot of time with God and be open for His will!!!

  • Guest

    This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through this… i wish i could come out from this situation and may God heal me :)
    thanx alot

    • nimawilson

      Hi Guest, glad to know that God is speaking to your through this post. Praying for you that God will give you the grace and strength to come out of this situation.
      God bless you

  • Guest

    This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through this… i wish i could come out from this situation and may God heal me :)
    thanx alot

    • nimawilson

      Hi Guest, glad to know that God is speaking to your through this post. Praying for you that God will give you the grace and strength to come out of this situation.
      God bless you

  • Sharo Mascranghe

    This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through
    this… i wish i could come out from this situation and may God heal me
    thanx alot
    :)

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Come out right now in Jesus name. I release u into ur destiny. May God strengthen u.

  • Sharo Mascranghe

    This is an awesome article and I feel that God is speaking through
    this… i wish i could come out from this situation and may God heal me
    thanx alot
    :)

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Come out right now in Jesus name. I release u into ur destiny. May God strengthen u.

  • BERNADINE WICKET

    This is an absolutely must-read for many who are about to enter into a relationship/already in a relationship. So important for Christ to be the center of the relationship and to recognize the symptoms and to discern whether it is approved by God or not. I will share this with as many as I can. Thanks Brother, brilliant post once again!!!

  • BERNADINE WICKET

    This is an absolutely must-read for many who are about to enter into a relationship/already in a relationship. So important for Christ to be the center of the relationship and to recognize the symptoms and to discern whether it is approved by God or not. I will share this with as many as I can. Thanks Brother, brilliant post once again!!!

  • Sindhuja Js

    Hi Shyju,

    I certainly agree with what you have written but is it wrong to yield to someone who encourages us to serve the Lord more than before or says we need to do certain things for the Lord more than before …

    Regards,
    Sindhu

    • KennethmyJesus

      Hello sis,
      People can use/say the right things to pull you into a relationship.Its important to discern the motives behind..Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit!!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Hi Sindhu, I am not sure I understand ur question completely. By yield what do u mean? What is it about those statements that concerns you?

  • Guest

    Hi Shyju,

    I certainly agree with what you have written but is it wrong to yield to someone who encourages us to serve the Lord more than before or says we need to do certain things for the Lord more than before …

    Regards,
    Sindhu

    • KennethmyJesus

      Hello sis,
      People can use/say the right things to pull you into a relationship.Its important to discern the motives behind..Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit!!

    • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shyju Mathew

      Hi Sindhu, I am not sure I understand ur question completely. By yield what do u mean? What is it about those statements that concerns you?

  • Anu Thomas

    d problem is…we realize all this only after we are deceived…

  • Anu Thomas

    d problem is…we realize all this only after we are deceived…

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