The Unbelieving Spouse

Shyju Mathew

"Experience the Word of God, in the power of the Spirit."

March 11, 2010

Last week, I got a call from a sister desperate to see her husband saved. She had married him because she thought he was a Christian, only to realize that he was a Christian by name and not in action. Her ailing story went on from one distress story to another. It’s not a new story; I get to hear this in nearly every country I’ve visited. Some have great testimonies but bad endings. The truth is what you do as a true believer can save the marriage.

Here are few things that you should keep in mind while you minister God’s love to your spouse:

Strong Love

I know you’ve heard this before but the fact of the matter is that love is the key to your spouse seeing the truth of Jesus in you. Spirituality should not stop you from candlelight dinners. Guard your heart from the self-righteous spirit. Your partner might be in the wrong boat but remember Jesus still loves your partner, too. Your uncompromised love for Jesus, underlined with strong love towards your husband or wife is certain to create an impact. Your heart to honour and love your spouse will be the way that the light of Jesus will shine into your family. It can sometimes be a challenge but this way, you learn to die to self everyday (1 Corinthians 13: 4-5).

Prayerful Patience

I’ve come across some people who are so desperate to see their spouse saved that in that process, they end up overdoing things to such an extent that their spouse withdraw or shut themselves to God. Nonstop talk about Jesus at breakfast, lunch and dinner is not the best way to communicate God’s love. Some of them, from the frustration of not seeing their spouse in the Lord, provoke their partner at every instance which not only will push them away from God but even bring about irritation at the mention of any godly subject brought up in the house. What you really need, is to take it slow. Pray over it before you even try to share the word. Ask God to give you the right opportunity. Stay sensitive to the situation through the Spirit. It is the Lord who causes hearts to open. So, you must be working on your knees than with your tongue.

Action Speak Louder

You will never be able to communicate Christ, if your actions conflict what Christ has taught. Strive to subdue every carnal nature that does not glorify Jesus. Show the servant heart of Jesus through your life. Guard your heart from vain ego and competition. Avoid godless chatter or or gossip that does not reflect Christ through you. Say ‘No’ to any other kinds of worship other than Jesus with all humility.


Irrespective of your beliefs, you are the greatest support to your spouse. Make sure to appreciate the hard work of your spouse. Learn to speak encouraging words. Remember, there is life and death in your words. Celebrate the successes of your spouse. Verbal affirmation is as powerful as your godly actions. Believe me, everyone needs that affirmation. They need to know that you appreciate their efforts made for the family.

Believe Without Doubt

I know of a few people who have seen their partner come to Jesus with an overnight encounter. I’ve seen others come to the Lord after a decade or more. Either way, it is your duty that while you serve on one hand; on the other, you must seek God for your partner’s soul. Apply the blood of Jesus on your partner’s life and everything they come in contact with. You must spend much time with the word of God so that your faith can soar atop the promises of God. Do not grow cold or withdraw from the presence of God as that is your only hope.

Wise Warfare

Now you must know what the devil has in my mind. The devil will try the best from you spouse knowing the Lord. He may even use your spouse against you. You must also realize that even though everything may seem normal on the outside, there is a war in the invisible realm. As your spouse does not trust in the Lord, he could open windows for the enemy to enter. So, it is important that you guard your house in prayer daily. To take it lightly is to allow the enemy to sow all kinds of evil seeds into your partner’s life, thoughts and heart.

This must be a battle won with prayers. So sometimes when your partner reacts unreasonably, remember that this is a spiritual battle and this must be won in your prayers. More than just praying with words, persevere praying in the Spirit. Spend time worshiping God in your house, paving way for the glory of God to increase in your house which will cause a visible change in the atmosphere of your house. Continue to be in prayer and also be conscious about the possible spirit of depression or discouragement that may try to attack you. Be alert about the warfare that is on the relationship and it will keep you away from getting tangled in unwanted arguments.

I would love to hear from you below. Is there anything you can add to these points? Share this post with someone you can be a blessing to.