The Dangers of Soul Ties – Overcome It!

Shyju Mathew

"Experience the Word of God, in the power of the Spirit."

March 17, 2010

[French Translation] [Spanish Translation] Unhealthy soul ties can be a great bondage to an individuals life if not dealt with it completely. I was on a flight, travelling out of the country and seated beside me was a young man who initiated conversation related to my laptop. Long before I knew it, he began to open up about his life and even more so after he got to know that I was an evangelist. He mentioned to me about how he would wake in the middle of the night thinking of his girlfriend and then when he would go online, she would be waiting for him. He was overwhelmed with thoughts of her and was struggling with his studies.

He went on to explain that it was because she said that they were soul-mates. Soon this girl began to control him and when I met him on the flight he was almost being tormented. We then discovered the roots of the issue to be the covenant or soul tie he had formed with her. The Lord allowed me to minister to him in that capacity.

What are Soul Ties?

Soul ties can be seen even among believers today. A soul tie is the deep bond that is developed between two or more individuals through an unhealthy relationship leading to addictive, manipulative or even violent behaviour. We, as children of God, should not be mastered by the soul or body but we are Spirit beings and must be led by the Spirit of God.

They are just the remains of your unsaved self which God does not want you to carry into your destiny for the fact that it holds the potential to pull you back from what God has called you into. All it takes is just one sniff, one touch, one taste of that ungodly tie; it can hold you bound from what God has for you. If you reading this, it is because God loves you and wants to break you out of anything that can stop you from your destiny in God.

Soul Ties in Relationships

You can notice this kind of bondage in a lot of relationships that are outside the will of God. There is an unusual desire to spend all their money on the person and try to please them. When there is a soul tie in relationships outside marriage, you can hear people say things like, “I can’t live without you, I can’t be happy without you” or “I will die without you”. These relationships are not based on the Spirit’s love, peace and joy. These soul ties can lead to body ties resulting in physical relationship. (Sometimes, possibly even with the same gender)

I’ve seen some so acutely affected with these kinds of soul ties that their health is affected. They get so worried about the other person that they afflict their own bodies by not eating or sleeping. Some even, begin to hurt themselves when the other person shows any signs of distancing. Real love is based on having Christ as the centre of the relationship and moving beyond the person itself.

Soul Ties between Husbands and Wives

Even when it is the love between a husband and wife, fervent love is born in the spirit and should not be overpowered by the soulish realm (Colossians 1:8). A soulish-realm love leads to a controlling and manipulative spirit, sadly even within marriages. In these kinds of relationships, the other person is in control and you are dictated to about what should be done. That spirit of control and manipulation is certainly NOT from God.

Soul Ties between Parents and Children

This can be seen sometimes in a parent-child relationship where parents are overly defensive about their children and do not like anyone correcting them etc. This kind of deep unhealthy affection does not discipline your child, it causes damage. There are cases when children are given a more important place than of their spouse. This can highly be destructive. With grown-up children refusing to marry and leave the house so that they can support their parents or a widowed parent is a form of soul tie. It is a wrongly induced sense of responsibility.

Soul Ties In Close Association

It is important that you are careful about who your friends are. Just as association rubs off the anointing, association can also rub of the negative traits of a person in your life. People that surround you must love God first. There are many examples of godly relationships in the Bible like, David and Jonathan; Elijah and Elisha etc.

When these associations lose the fear of the Lord, it can go beyond just friendship. Many families have been destroyed because of extra-marital affairs. It might even be packaged in a spiritual form of counselling that ultimately develops into an unhealthy relationship if it is not well-guarded. This is often preceded by sweet words of flattery that then take them away foolishly from the real truth. It is almost as though they are begging for an ungodly soul tie to be formed and long before you know it, the situation gets out of hand resulting into broken homes, families and hearts.

I was once advised by a pastor about the dangers of praying alone with someone of the opposite gender. He said that prayer is one of the effective forms of soul connecting. As you share problems and seek counsel, there can be a stronger soul tie that can be formed if the boundaries are not drawn ahead. Soon this can lead to an emotional affair.

Extreme Relationship with Animals

While this can be sometimes described as love towards animals, by the world; there are times when this love for a creature can take over the individual. The signs of this can be seen when a person is extremely possessive and obsessed with their animal. They can go extremes where the person detaches from the human world and over spend their time, money and energy on these animals.

The Fantasy World

Soul ties can also be formed with a person you are not associated with. Unusual craze about a person or a celebrity can create bondage in your life. This becomes an idol in your life apart from God. It might start without your realisation and if you are not careful, you might end up opening up a door to the enemy.

A particular actor, actress or singer becomes the craze and they literally live in a surreal, self-created world of this ‘idol.’ From pictures to posters to magazine cut-outs; you name it and they have it. It can lead to extreme situations where the person daydreams to the point that they lose track of reality and begin to live in this fantasy world with that person. If not broken, this can even affect one’s married life. It is only the Lord that we must love with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. (Mark 12:30)

Breaking Soul Ties

When you have an ungodly soul tie, you will be unwilling to listen to anyone else. It makes you vulnerable to manipulation and it takes the place of God in your life.

Therefore, it is important that you first identify where you have opened the window for the enemy to enter into your life.

Surrender your life to Jesus and let him rule over your soul. If there have been any covenants made by words or action, take some time out to pray and one by one in the name of Jesus, begin to denounce all the contacts you have made.

Denounce the soul ties by confessing it out loud and accept the blood of Christ to wash your sins away. Shut every door of fear with the word of God and claim the promises of God. Now, make it a point to fill your mind with the things of God instead. Throw away everything that reminds you of your past.

Stay tuned to the Holy Spirit and walk in the presence of God. If this struggle still persists, you might need help from an anointed leader in your church. Take time to open up about your struggle with the elders of your church and seek help.

You can use this as a guideline to pray: Father, I know you love me. Forgive me for  every soul ties I have developed. (Name them out) with  _______ that would affect me adversely. I surrender myself into Your Hands and ask that You would establish Your Lordship in my life. In Jesus’ name, I renounce and break every authority I’ve given to this relationship and I break this soul tie in Jesus’ name and set myself free. Amen.

Here’s a video that summarises our struggle with the soul ties, enjoy:

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