How Not to Let Offence Drag You Down

Shyju Mathew

"Experience the Word of God, in the power of the Spirit."

August 20, 2014

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Overcoming Offence

Last week, as I was writing this post, I began to do a self check and see if there was any offence in me against anyone. See part 1 on Offended Christian here.


The more I searched my heart in prayer, the more Holy Spirit kept showing me an individual. The more I wanted to ignore it, the more the Lord brought it to the light.
I kept denying that I was hurt. But the fact was, as much as I thought I was not hurt, it was my pride that kept me from admitting that I was hurting. Because to admit that “I was hurt” felt like a confession of a weak person. But I decided to go against it head on.

I called up this man and bared my heart at the risk of looking stupid. I confessed that I heard too many rumours and didn’t bother to cross check with him.

It was not my attempt to convict him of his wrongdoings or justify my hurts, it was a moment where I wanted the light to come into my heart and his, and free us both from a prison cell of words.

And as I did that, it didn’t matter anymore who was right or wrong, all that mattered was we were free children of the Light! I was free to love freely.

True love is corrupted by unrealistic expectations. Conditional love is a love wrapped in a bubble. [tweet this]It pops at slightest offence. Wholesome love is an unconditional one that cannot be distorted by expectations of any kind.

And higher the expectation, the deeper the hurt will be. The more you care about that individual, the more power you give them to hurt you – unless you are set free to love – unconditionally.

Here are some realistic view that we must have for the people around us.

– People will cause hurt, because there are no perfect humans.

– To set “any” human on a pedestal is to set yourself to be hurt. [tweet this]

– People err.

– People have weak moments (mostly everyday).

– People’s tongues can set fire to forests.

– People can live without a transformation for the rest of their lives until God opens their eyes to their flaws.

– The best of people around us have their own worst moments.

– People consistently change.

If all of the above and more is true, then to set an expectation from any of us humans is certainly to set your heart open to failure and offence.

And it is not just about expectations. Set your love higher than that of the people who hate you. Give without expecting back. They can try to hurt you but it’s your choice whether you are going to be hurt or not. They can speak evil of you. But it’s your choice whether you are going to carry that offence in your heart or let go of it. And they can do the above things repeatedly, but you can still choose to smile, ignore and love, just as our Master did.

Offence must come. But it’s upto you if you are going to stoop low to that offence or be bigger than those who offend.

Remember this, God always brings offensive, untamed, insensitive, arrogant people your way to test you, to try you, and mould you to be more costly than gold.  To be tested with fire is to add more value to your character and focus to your destiny.  [tweet this] God may be using this enemy to expose the areas in your life that requires refining, so don’t run away from those opportunities today.

overcoming-offenceYour enemies are your opportunities. Stop running away and building walls around you. Break the walls of offence and break them all down with LOVE! [ClickToShare]


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Series NavigationI Will Hurt You: An Offended Christian >>5 Facts To Rise Above Every Hate (Overcoming Offence Series) >>