Are Two Really Better Than One? – 5 Keys to Godly Marriage – Pastor Priji Varghese

Shyju Mathew

"Experience the Word of God, in the power of the Spirit."

January 25, 2014

priji.This weeks post is written by Pastor Priji Varghese. He serves as the director of ‘Revive Nations India.’ He also pastors a church ‘Bangalore Revival Centre’ with his dear wife Rashmi Varghese. Together they were blessed by God recently with a baby girl  Zahal. Enjoy the post.

I cannot begin to tell you how much of a blessing marriage has been for me. It’s been only a little less than 10 months since Rashmi and I have been married. But yes, there have been moments of challenges, doubts, fears and questions that tend to creep in from time to time, threatening to challenge our oneness and unity of spirit. The more I pursue God along with Rashmi, the more do I see the purpose and goal of marriage, the way God intended it.


Allow me to briefly explain the same with the few pointers below. I am in no way saying that God doesn’t or wouldn’t call people to singleness. That is a special calling, and a special unction is given to them that have such a calling. However, if you are not sure about where you are headed to and how God intends you to live, this post just might be for you!

What I have mentioned here is also out of my personal experiences, and it can change from people to people, and from couple to couple, depending on their individual natures and God given grace and abilities. If you are already married, and you feel you lack in any of these, would you make it your heart’s cry to get the same fixed?

1. The Power of Agreement

Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? (Amos 3:3) The greatest blessing of a godly marriage is mutual agreement. Some may see it as a challenge to be achieved. But the dynamics of unity and agreement is best realized and experienced in marriage. “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.” said Jesus. (Matthew 18:19)

Countless number of times, Rashmi and I have experienced divine provisions, supernatural healings, specific directions, and extraordinary encounters merely as a result of us being in agreement with each other. There is something deep and intense about the oneness you would be able to experience through your marriage that you would rarely experience anywhere else or in anything else. If I had time or space, I could go on and on about the power of agreement experienced in marriage!

2. The Essence of Praying

What do we do when we don’t have agreement and unity in marriage? There is only one solution to that: begin to pray together. Our personal experience has been that every time we were relaxed in our times of prayer together, disagreements crept in before we even recognized it. The Bible encourages us thus, Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. (Colossians 4:2)

Marriage gives you a prayer partner. A person who you are continually accountable to when your prayer life goes for a toss, somebody you can pursue God along with. I should also admit here Rashmi and I have found it increasingly difficult to spend time in prayer after Zahal’s addition to the family. But it is also our resolve to rise back up in this area. It is never legalism, but a principle we have based our marriage on, from day one. Praying together in a Christian Marriage is as important as the coal in a steam driven rail engine.

3. The Goal of Ministry

Marriage is built on the foundation of love, since it’s a replica of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. This love you experience within your marriage flows out in the external expression of compassion for the needy, orphans, the wounded, broken hearted and the sick. That ultimately becomes your ministry. There can be no ministry without love, and such love begins at home.

Let love be your highest goal! (1 Corinthians 14:1) The goal of your ministry becomes loving people instead of anything else that we think it is. That’s been the one phenomenal change in my ministry post marriage. I am able to love and be compassionate towards people that I could never get along with earlier. Marriage transforms you into the image of Christ, and the image of Christ is best explained by one word: Love!

4. The Fruit of Intimacy

I cannot talk about marriage and not talk about the intimacy experienced in marriage, through sex. Making love is the most fulfilling, and yes it is also God glorifying, when expressed within the limits and boundaries of God ordained marriage. Sex is never an end result of physical passion alone, but the expression of deep love towards each other.

The fruit of such intimacy is three according to the Bible,

1. Purity: For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality. (1 Thessalonians 4:3) It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. (1 Corinthians 7:9)

2. Sex: This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:24)

3. Offspring: Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are His. And what does He want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:15)

If you are not experiencing sexual fulfillment in your marriage, take out time to talk about the same with your spouse. If it is beyond that, request for help, and hang on till God brings a healing and restoration in this area of your life.

5. The Joy of Submission

Does it seem ironical to you that I have titled this section the ‘joy’ of submission? It is because the world teaches us that submission is always painful, unjust and unfair. The world teaches us that our rights to rebel and disobey are more important than obedience and submission. The one thing you would experience the most in marriage is the joy of submission.

There is a school to thought that teaches the wives to submit and the husbands to dominate in the house, but the bible teaches us something else; Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21) There has to be mutual submission in the reference of reverence for Christ. To put in simpler words, the family that lacks mutual submission lacks respect for Jesus Christ! If there is reverence for Christ, mutual submission will always be upheld.

When you reach the place of mutual submission, you will experience the joy of Christ centered marriage. I cannot  explain the same in words or videos, you have to be in there to be able to experience it for yourself to know what joy God intends to bless you with though submission within the context of marriage.

That sums it up for this post. What do you think? Are two still better than one? What are your arguments towards either side? Is there anything else that you would like to add or change about what I have shared above? Comments below.